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..”“Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early...”“I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.” (from an Australian claim form)“The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.”“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”“I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.”Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?A: Travelled by bus?The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were -Q: What warning was given by you?A: Horn.Q: What warning was given by the other party?A: Moo.“I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This. Quickly removing her hand she undid the slacks of her panamas. A slight moan escaped her lips as she slid the waistband of her panties along the length of her newly developed flesh"No wonder men enjoy wearing silk so much." she thought idly as her newly developed flesh sprang free of its confines."Oh my God!" she almost screamed as she got her first good look at her newly developed flesh.It glistened. But not from sweat. There were splotches of blood and patches of drying fatty tissue all along the length and behind it all a thin slimy substance that told her that this thing had come from inside her body. There had been no warning signs except for the odd paunch she had strangely developed as a teenager and then there were the cramps but she just chalked those up to her periods. But now. As she lay sitting up in bed she realized she now had questions she had no answers to. A lot of people had a lot of explaining to do. The doctors. Her parents. Especially her parents. It made her.
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